The #1 Reason to Forgive

You're not perfect and you need forgiveness too.  

You'll be making mistakes too. You haven’t been accused of living the perfect life have you? Then, you're also going to need those around you to cut you some slack. That's more likely to happen if you are forgiving of them.  

We hear a lot about being a country of second chances.  
Forget second chances. We all mess up so much that we're continually needing three, four, five, six, seven chances.

That's why in the Bible when they asked Jesus how many times he should forgive their neighbor, they asked 7 times and He said no, forgive them 70 times 7! It seems like they needed more than second chances back then too.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  (Matthew 18:21-22)

So if you want to have great relationships for those around, you ease up. 
Give them some room to fail and when they do, forgive.  Don’t expect them to do the impossible.

That doesn't mean that if somebody does something terrible there doesn't need to be consequences. Even some times, severe consequences.  

 

However, that doesn't mean you need to hold it against them.  

You'll find this easier to do if you are someone who forgives yourself. You'll find the most rigid people are those who are unforgiving of themselves.

That’s not a good way to go through life.  
You'll always be dissatisfied, always expecting yourself to live up to a standard you have no hope of achieving.  

It's much easier to forgive yourself when you realize that God in heaven has already provided a plan of forgiveness for you. It’s available through his Son, Jesus Christ. If He will forgive, why wouldn’t you forgive yourself?

• To the Lord our God belong compassion and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against Him;
  Daniel 9:8-10
• and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem.
  Luke 24:46-48 
• Of Him all the prophets bear witness that through His name everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins.”
  Acts 10:42-44
• to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in Me.’
  Acts 26:17-19
• In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace
  Ephesians 1:6-8 

It's done.

It doesn’t you any good until you repent, ask for and accept that forgiveness, but He still has forgiven you. 

The sooner you realize that it might help you ease up a little bit on unrealistic expectations for yourself, your family, your kids, your coworkers, and your friends.  

That's the No. 1 reason to forgive others. Because you are not perfect either and God has provided forgiveness for you.

Relationship Splinters

Easy going in, painful coming out.

When starting new relationships you don’t need to be paranoid, but you’re wise to be careful. That warning applies to all relationships—personal, business and associations. It's so easy to be infatuated with a the new, regardless of whether its a person or something else. But think before you dive in.

Relationships are so easy to get into, but painful to get out, just like a splinter. The trouble is that the bloom eventually goes off the rose and the initial infatuation will fade. At that point, if there is not something deeper there, you’ll be looking to end it.

Here’s the problem…there’s an “ouch” coming.

When you reach the point of ending relationships you realize, there are no good options. No matter what you do, someone is going to be hurt. There’s going to be pain—no way around it. Eventually you stop avoiding the issue and just get it over with. The pain lasts and lasts. Relationships—easy to start, painful to end.

You can’t avoid them

You don’t want to avoid them. Relationships are what make up life. They make life rich and rewarding. There are lots of great things to be gained from a great relationships, so don’t be too paranoid. 

But the warning remains, just take a moment to think before you jump. That may be all it takes to let you avoid a lot of unnecessary pain, because they will always be easy to start but painful to stop. Choose wisely.

Winner's Book Club Selection of the Week: Leading with the Heart

Leading with the Heart: Coach K's Successful Strategies for Basketball, Business, and Life

WHAT ARE HIS “WINNER” CREDENTIALS? 

Mike Krzyzewski has excelled as a coach by all measures. He has won National Championships and coached a Gold Medal winning team for the United States in the Olympics. He has run a program that is respected and above reproach as well as sending many top players to the pros. He is as respected for his life off the court as much as he is on it. This book will show that his success is no accident. It is a result of a well developed plan and philosophy of treating people as individuals and putting their welfare first. People are his first priority.

Leading with the Heart chronicles Coach K’s background in a Polish Chicago neighborhood, where he was guided by parents who demanded honesty and integrity. From his days at the U.S. Military Academy playing under Coach Bobby Knight, Krzyzewski first learned that coaching meant more than showing players what to do and how to do it. It meant building an emotional bond of trust that gives his players the confidence and freedom to succeed both on and off the court.

"People have to be given the freedom to show the heart they possess. I think it’s a leader’s responsibility to provide that type of freedom. And I believe it can be done through relationships and family. Because if a team is a real family, it’s members want to show you their hearts." — Mike Krzyzewski

Amazon Editorial Reviews

In some respects, a top-level college coach is a lot like a manager in any business. He has to turn a group of talented individuals into a smoothly running team, and he has to produce results that please the fans of his team--the shareholders of the athletic program. Thus, in Leading with the Heart, Krzyzewski reviews the lessons he's learned as basketball coach at Duke University, and tries to universalize them so they translate to any leadership position. For example, he writes, "Adjustments are not unusual, they are usual. So a leader's ability to think on his feet ... to do things without instruction ... is of paramount importance." Makes sense, as does this admonition: "When teaching, always remember this simple phrase: 'You hear, you forget. You see, you remember. You do, you understand.'"  >>Read More

From Publishers Weekly

Duke basketball coach Krzyzewski, today's most successful NCAA coach, reviews significant games and key events in his career in addition to offering advice to coaches, players and everyone trying to do better in life. The son of working-class Polish immigrants, he got a scholarship to West Point, where he became an accomplished player before becoming a coach. His breezy approach is direct and simple: what's most important is working as a team toward a common goal—not necessarily to win the game, but to play the best possible game. Says Coach K, "There are five fundamental qualities that make every team great: communication, trust, collective responsibility, caring and pride." Approaching each season the same way, he extends himself to his players, encouraging them to spend time at his home and with his family, while emphasizing the importance of keeping up with academics and enjoying the overall experience of college. In fact, Krzyzewski tries to hire assistant coaches who have played for him because they're versed in on- and off-court problems. At the end of each chapter, he offers general pointers, such as that "business, like basketball, is a game of adjustments. So be ready to adjust." Although he occasionally refers to a coach as a "leader," for the most part he leaves it up to readers to connect the dots between his coaching strategies and useful business strategies.  >>Read More