IS IT WRONG TO WANT DONUTS, SOFT PILLOWS AND HAPPY TALK?

We all look forward to an easier future.

While working it’s encouraging to think that one day it’ll be different. One day life will be easy. One day the stress will be all gone. We’ll be able do what we want, eat what we want and the pressure will be off. We won’t have to grind away anymore. The rat race will be behind us! It’s exhilarating to think about.

Can’t we just relax? 
We would prefer the “Grow or Die Principle” just go away because growth always involves doing things that you would really rather not do. Growth always involves a price and we’d like to think we would reach a point where life wouldn’t put anymore demands on us.

• We’d all rather goof off than work…rather sleep in than get up and get after it.
• We’d all rather joke and have happy talk with our friends and family than deal with serious issues.  
• We’d all rather eat all we want every time we sat down to eat, and load up on dessert.

Let’s assume you do the right things

• Hopefully you’ll plan ahead, put money away and you don’t have to scramble in an emergency
• Hopefully you will take care of yourself and your health will be good.
• Hopefull you'll address difficult problems and face the truth even when it's hard

But even if you do all those things, don’t think life will ever get to the point where all you have to do is sit back and eat cotton candy all day. Life simply doesn’t work like that. You could fairly ask, 'exactly why does it have to be like that?'

Reality: The demands of life never go completely away
Even if retired, you’ll want to keep an eye on your finances. You’ll be spending money but now that you’re not working, you want to make sure your money in investments is working and even growing 

Even with your health, you’ll want to keep a close eye on your eating and activity habits to stay in top shape. How can you enjoy your later years without health?

Even keeping up with your family and friends you’ll want the joy and satisfaction of being involved in their lives. They’ll be times things come up with them that will cause inconveniences in your schedule and even create stress…it’s all a part of being involved in their lives. When they hurt, you hurt.

There’s always a price. Unless you want to see your life disintegrate rapidly you’re always going to have to be doing a certain amount of these “unpleasant things” because they are the key to things that you want.    

BUT THE SECRET IS,
THIS THE BEST THING FOR YOU!

If you stop monitoring your diet, eating as much of the gooey goodies that you like all day long, pretty soon you’ll turn into a gooey blimp yourself.  

If you avoid paying attention to your finances, pretty soon you’ll find yourself in trouble with the IRS, the bank, and all the other people with whom you have financial connections. 

If you stop watching your health and pushing yourself to stay active, your health will suffer and make daily living difficult—and could even do permanent damage without crucial exams and doctor visits.

If you ignore your family and friends you will find yourself becoming isolated, lonely and depressed—the opposite of what you have worked for all your life.

The pressures and demands of life aren’t bad…they are necessary to keep you from growing old and stale! 

• They keep you fresh, energized and motivated.
• They give you new reasons for living
• They create opportunities for new friendships and adventures
• They allow you to use the experience and lessons you have accumulated
• They give you new reasons to make a difference in people’s lives

You may never have a life full of nothing but “Donuts, Soft Pillows and Happy Talk,” but you may eventually agree that it’s a VERY good thing that you don’t!

The Self-Centered Black Hole

We are emotional beings

We all have our ups and downs. Over our lives we experience the gamut of emotions. We soon discover we’d rather stay on the satisfied, fufillled and joyous side of life as much as possible

Here’s why you shouldn’t let yourself get too wrapped up in yourself
Being self-centered leads to depression, it draws you inward facing your imperfections, focusing on all you don't have.

It’s like a Black Hole
It’s a downward spiral that can grab you and not let go. You lose perspective. You forget about the good things in your life. You forget so many others have it much worse than you because you aren't thinking about them, you are thinking about you. You focus on all that you are lacking and that makes you feel bitter and helpless. Down, down, down.

Thinking about others has the opposite effect
Satisfaction and fulfillment are usually related to going outside yourself, getting involved in the world and other people. The more you get involved in others lives, the more appreciation you get for your life. You get a balanced perspective on life. You have new experiences, make new friends and learn new things. You stay fresh.

We are social beings, we need to be around others and involved in their lives to stay emotionally healthy. The alternate is a life of isolation and self-centeredness, a life of despair.

Watch out for yourself, but also for your friends and family as well. 
If you see any of them withdrawing into themselves, go get them. Take them to dinner. Get them out and find something fun to do. Let them know they have a friend. Draw them out and let them talk. 

They may be stuck in a downward spiral. They may desperately need a helping hand to get them out. Be that friend. Make a difference!

Hermits Die Alone

What locks some into a lifestyle of losing?

I heard my good friend Bill Orender say many years ago that… “it isn’t so much that they are losers but that they are loners.”

Life is about interacting with people, not living in isolation. It is by interaction with others that we live our life. We talk, we laugh, we share, we love, we question, we argue, we share stories and jokes, we challenge and  do thousands of other things together.

It's how we learn, it's how we enjoy things and how we learn our values.

It's how we experience life.

When you cut yourself off from others you sentence yourself to prison. And living that way doesn’t lead to a very productive or fulfilling life.

It's natural when the trials of life get tough that you would want to withdraw.

I remember several times when business was bad, incomes low and on top of that my weight was skyrocketing due to working around the clock and worrying. The last thing I wanted then was to spend time around happy people who seemed to have it made.

Of course, all my friends didn’t have it made but when you are feeling sorry for yourself you just assume everyones else is doing great. And you resent them for it and avoid them. Bad move.

When you're down you need to be around people. 

I learned that. It restores your perspective, it lets you realize you aren’t the only one with problems. It gives you a chance to talk things out and get some fresh ideas. 

We live our lives socializing and working with people and as a result, winning involves making better things happen for not only yourself and but others as well. In fact you’ll find being able to help others out is a whole lot more rewarding and fuflilling than things you do for yourself.

So you get occasionally get overwhelmed...don’t hide, go out with a friend. 

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P.S. Who do you rely on when you think you'd rather run away from everyone? Think ahead and remember to value those friendships and cultivate them...