Autism Taught Me How Goal Setting Really Works

Guest Post by Venessa Sylvester

I thought goals were obvious. After all, isn't it just stating what you really want DO WITH YOUR LIFE? 

Why make such a big deal out of it? It's obvious, isn't it? "My goal is to be debt free. My goal is to travel the world. My goal is to pay for my children to go to any college they want. My goal is to be a winner."

Actually, no. It's not that simple.

When I sat down with my son's IEP team (Individual Education Plan) to set his goals, I thought it was obvious. My son has autism, so I thought his IEP team would all assume the same goal—"to help him with his autism."

When they sat across the table and asked me, "What are your goals for Zane?" I stopped thinking about autism and blurted out, "For him to grow up happy and fulfilled and have people around him who love him."

His IEP team must have known then that I was new to this process. They took over from there, explaining that his goals needed to be measurable, have a timeframe and be reasonable for that timeframe.

They suggested, "Zane will form sentences of 3 words or more." "Zane will learn how to properly hold a crayon." "Zane will approach another child and initiate play." We spent almost two hours talking about ways to help Zane, his strengths and weaknesses, his potential. When I left I realized how much better off everyone would be if we approached our goals with such care and clarity.

This process taught what goals really are.

• Goals must be clear and exact
• Goals must be measurable
• Everyone on the team has to agree on the goal
• A goal without a deadline is just a daydream.

In business this means changing a goal from the assumption, "To turn a profit" into "To raise profits by X% by the X date." If everyone on your team does not absolutely know the goals, how can you hope to achieve them? How will you know when you get there?

Action Item: Clarify your goals. Make sure everyone on the team knows and agrees THESE ARE THE GOALS, and these are the deadlines. 

Sidenote: Zane reached those goals and surpassed them—and then we set new ones. I expect he'll be setting his own goals for himself soon. He is amazing.

The Power of Why

Do you know who Simon Sinek is?

He made a powerful talk at TED that is getting lot of play right now...if you haven't seen it, you're missing out.

He powerfully illustrates that until you can get people to buy into and agree with your mission, concept and purpose, it doesn't matter how many details you give them, they aren't going to do business with you. On the other hand, if they agree with your intent, selling to them and getting their support becomes almost automatic.

The Golden Circle
This is his method of explaining  “Why is Apple so innovative?” “Why is it that Martin Luther King led the civil rights movement?” and  “Why is it that the Wright Brothers were able to figure out controlled power manned flight?”

I think he doesn't give enough credit to the fact that it wasn't JUST their message but also their incredible high quality follow-through each had on bringing their ideas to life that made them wildly successful. In each case, it was their careful attention to detail in making their products and projects match up with their message that gave them credibility and power. In spite of that, this is a very worthwhile and thought provoking presentation...one you'll enjoy, remember and use to help clarify your own message and mission.

---

Do You Ever Get...Confused?

"Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success." —Bo BennettAre you ever totally confused about what to do next?

FRUSTRATED? Ever get so totally frustrated that your head almost explodes?

HERE’S HOW TO USE THOSE UPSETTING EMOTIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

When you are confused, realize it's a a good sign. The reason is that if you have something you care about, something you are trying to make happen. You are simply at a point where the course of action you chose didn’t work, so realize this….

Confusion is the beginning of clarity. When you have made your best efforts to make something positive happen and instead of turning out great it bombs, you say to yourself obviously I had the wrong idea on this so now what? I’m confused about why it didn’t work.

Exactly at this moment when you have your full attention on the problem you perfectly prepared to learn something surprising and magical. You are prepared to see what actually needs to be done to solve the problem: YOU ARE READY TO LEARN!

The information you get will be insights you can use the rest of your life. How do you get it?

ASK! GET SOME FRESH IDEAS

Ask someone who you know or can find who has gone through the same or at least similar situation successfully and see how they handled it. Or get a book on the subject and get fresh insight on how to approach it.

Where will you get the energy? FROM YOUR FRUSTRATION! Properly understood, frustration can be a great advantage to you because…

Frustration is the fuel of growth. I feel sorry for those who never get upset about things, never explode, never get excited or never get angry because it seems as if they just don’t really care about anything. They are so blasé, nothing bothers them. As a result they never really account for much. They never stand up and fight injustice. They never find anything they are willing to fight for. They never care enough to make a positive impact and change things for the better. They just can’t be bothered.

But that’s not you. You get confused, you get frustrated because you care. You care deeply. As a result, you will be one who makes a difference.

So remember when you get involved in the fight to make good things happen…

CONFUSION IS THE BEGINNING OF CLARITY and FRUSTRATION IS THE FUEL OF GROWTH!