She's Not Dead Yet!

The Point: Change happens. Don’t fight it, use it to improve your life.

A horse? Really?

Dr. Blas Camillo of Fort Lauderdale, FL told me today about his 95 year old Aunt Patricia. She came to Florida from Colombia, South America, over 50 years ago.

Recently she was telling her grandchildren about her childhood. One of her many recollections involved going to school in Colombia. It seems transportation was a lot different back then. The way she got to school was by riding a horse! She told the kids about remembering clearly the first time she heard a radio, the first time she saw a car and many other new and exciting inventions. 

She has seen the world change.
She has not only experienced the world evolving from the horse and buggy era to the space age, she has changed countries, going from the peaceful life of rural Colombia to the incredible hustle of life in South Florida. 

Surprise!
Last week her family was surprised to hear her say she now wanted a Facebook account! It seems Aunt Patricia doesn’t like to travel and has rarely gone back to visit her relatives in Colombia. In fact she’s the only one in the family who even knows who many of these relatives are. So she heard about Facebook and thought, that’s the answer! I’ll get on Facebook and we can make contact back to everyone on Colombia.

Who knows if it will work, but it at least gives her an opportunity. So one of her granddaughters opened her an account and now she’s on Facebook!

Maybe that’s her secret!
When I told this story to our Webmaster and Graphic Artist Venessa Sylvester she said “Maybe that’s her secret. The fact that she has learned to be flexible and adapt to all the changes she has seen all her life. Maybe that’s the reason she is alive and active at 95 years old!” I think Venessa is on to something. Instead of resisting change she adapts.

When others fight and resist progress, she just rolls with it. 

There’s a lesson on winning from Aunt Patricia.
We all have to deal with the stress of change in our lives. Most of these changes are out of our control. A whole lot of these changes are things we aren’t happy with because we would much prefer things stay just the way they are.

So how should we react? 
Grow bitter, complaining about the new-fangled ways? Or should we make like an ostrich, stick our head in the sand and pretend things are the same as they have always been. That’s not what has worked for Aunt Patricia. She has learned to overcome the tendency to become rigid and set in her ways. She has learned to take all the new things that progress brings and use it to improve her quality of life. 

She’s not looking back focusing on how “good” things were in the past, she’s focused on how it can be better in the future!

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Feedback: What lessons are we teaching our children about living and adapting to life.

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Related: Make Friends With Change

Make Friends with Change

Why The Lazy Fear Change

Most people resist change because the unknown is scary, frightening and intimidating. They like things the way they are. One thing they’re not looking for is more work and they hate the idea of anything that might lead to more work. They don’t want to be bothered, they want to get by with the minimum effort, they want to just shuffle through life. Even if unhappy they at least know where they are now.

They are fearful of what change would brining because they just naturally assume it’s going to turn out bad for them. But carrying that attitude is not healthy.

That’s not a winning attitude. 
This stubbornness holds them back and puts them in a position of perpetual resistance and constantly missing new opportunities. They don’t have much confidence, they don’t really want better things, so the idea of change seems unsettling.

The Big Problem
But there’s a real big problem with this approach and that’s because we aren’t stuck in one spot in one point in time, we are moving through life.

Everything is moving, changing and adjusting.

Your friends change, your kids grow older, your business evolves into other forms, the economy goes up and down and it never ends. Even the ground we stand on is spinning through space.

Make Friends With Change
Open yourself up. Change is part of life and unavoidable.  

With every change comes news opportunities however it may well create more possibilities for you than you’ve ever imagined. On the other hand it may save you from losing some of those things you have now but are destined to lose. For example, your company is gobbled up by a bigger company: everyone panics.  

However, with the new management team they may make changes that opens a bigger and better career path for you or because they bought the company it may save you from eventually losing your job because the company you were with was losing money and heading for bankruptcy.   

Sure it’s easier to just keep things the way they are. Unfortunately in this world things never stay the way they are. 

If you want to survive and prosper you would do well to decide to make friends with change.

Like A Dog Chasing It's Tail

The Point: To get you to realize you don’t have to be beat down and bullied by circumstances in your life.

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Don’t run from problems
Have you noticed in life that so many people are stuck in life because they won’t deal with their problems? They don’t seem to realize that… “Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.” 

They want to go to college but they never do. They don’t like living where they live but they never choose another spot and move. They’re not satisfied with their house but they never find another one or make any changes to the one they have. They hate their jobs but they never find something better. 

Why don’t you move?

I was in New York City riding and talking to a taxi driver one time and he was griping about every single thing relating to living in New York.  t was too crowded, the politicians were terrible, he hated driving a cab, it was a terrible place to live and raise a family, there’s no opportunity for him to move up, the air was polluted, people were abrupt and rude, and everything was a hassle.  Finally I said to him, “Why don’t you move?” The question shocked him. He turned around, looked at me, and said in total exasperation, “WHERE WOULD I GO!?”  

I answered to him “ANYWHERE!” 

As miserable as he was about being in New York City, anywhere else would have had to be an improvement. Once he had made that move he’d be in a better place to make a decision to see if there was another place he liked even better. When you’re caught in a losing cycle like that you’re wearing yourself out physically and mentally. You are accomplishing nothing. If you would just face the issue and take a step in some better direction you’d find your misery would start to evaporate.

That’s the only way he was going to solve his problems. If he was that miserable, he obviously needed to be somewhere else. He needed to start moving out of the miserable existence he was in towards a place where he could be happy. 

As long as he stayed where he was he’d be the same as a dog running round in circles chasing his tail!

That’s the kind of mental trap we we all fall into.

We get so frustrated we can only see the problems. We lose total sight of the solutions. We let ourselves be bullied by circumstances that we can change.

All the energy we spend fusing and fuming about what’s wrong is wasted energy. We stay frustrated and exhausted. But if we took just one step in a direction for solving the problem we would become energized and filled with hope. We would start focusing on solutions. We would start taking back control of our lives.

Don’t avoid problems, don’t let them overwhelm you…face them head on and stay in control of your life! 

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Feedback: Did I make the point, or is there a better way to illustrate this? Do you have a situation like this in your life that you need to deal with? Did this help you get some ideas about doing something about it?

Do You Ever Get...Confused?

"Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success." —Bo BennettAre you ever totally confused about what to do next?

FRUSTRATED? Ever get so totally frustrated that your head almost explodes?

HERE’S HOW TO USE THOSE UPSETTING EMOTIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

When you are confused, realize it's a a good sign. The reason is that if you have something you care about, something you are trying to make happen. You are simply at a point where the course of action you chose didn’t work, so realize this….

Confusion is the beginning of clarity. When you have made your best efforts to make something positive happen and instead of turning out great it bombs, you say to yourself obviously I had the wrong idea on this so now what? I’m confused about why it didn’t work.

Exactly at this moment when you have your full attention on the problem you perfectly prepared to learn something surprising and magical. You are prepared to see what actually needs to be done to solve the problem: YOU ARE READY TO LEARN!

The information you get will be insights you can use the rest of your life. How do you get it?

ASK! GET SOME FRESH IDEAS

Ask someone who you know or can find who has gone through the same or at least similar situation successfully and see how they handled it. Or get a book on the subject and get fresh insight on how to approach it.

Where will you get the energy? FROM YOUR FRUSTRATION! Properly understood, frustration can be a great advantage to you because…

Frustration is the fuel of growth. I feel sorry for those who never get upset about things, never explode, never get excited or never get angry because it seems as if they just don’t really care about anything. They are so blasé, nothing bothers them. As a result they never really account for much. They never stand up and fight injustice. They never find anything they are willing to fight for. They never care enough to make a positive impact and change things for the better. They just can’t be bothered.

But that’s not you. You get confused, you get frustrated because you care. You care deeply. As a result, you will be one who makes a difference.

So remember when you get involved in the fight to make good things happen…

CONFUSION IS THE BEGINNING OF CLARITY and FRUSTRATION IS THE FUEL OF GROWTH!

Winners Book Club Selection of the Week: The Mentor Leader

The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently

By Tony Dungy with Nathan Whitaker

What are his Winner’s Credentials?

Tony Dungy not only had a successful career as a NFL player but went on to build consistent winnng teams as head coach in both Tampa and Indianapolis, where he also led his team to victory in the Super Bowl.

Amazon Editorial Review

“Your only job is to help your players be better.”

That single idea had a huge impact on Tony Dungy when he heard it from one of his earliest mentors, and it led him to develop the successful leadership style so admired by players and coaches throughout the NFL. Now, a storied career and a Super Bowl victory later, Tony Dungy is sharing his unique leadership philosophy with you. In The Mentor Leader, Tony reveals what propelled him to the top of his profession and shows how you can apply the same approach to virtually any area of your life. In the process, you’ll learn the seven keys of mentoring leadership—and why they’re so effective; why mentor leadership brings out the best in people; how a mentor leader recovers from mistakes and handles team discipline; and the secret to getting people to follow you and do their best for you without intimidation tactics. As a son, a football player, and a winning coach, Tony has always learned from others on his path to success. Now you can learn to succeed for your team, family, or organization while living out your values—by becoming a mentor leader.

Coach Dungy offers a truly unique perspective as a Super Bowl winning football coach, and a devoted Christian. 

He is a man who has benefited much mentoring and who has intentionally sought for years to have a positive influence on the lives of those he touches. Author of best-selling book Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices, and Priorities of a Winning Life, he has seen firsthand "that the way to bring the best out of an individual or a team is to teach-by example and through one-on-one, step-by-step mentoring." The book is packed full of stories and anecdotes, but it is not just a random assortment of anecdotes. Dungy actually covers a lot of material, and arranges it thoughtfully. 

Some of the topics or concepts that I thought were particularly interesting: focusing on strengths, the preeminence of character and integrity in the live of a leader, building a team whose strengths complement yours and each others, the importance of just hanging out and being present in the lives of those you hope to influence, the need to create a culture to effect change, and the idea of treating those you lead as volunteers. 

Waiting for the Temperature to Change

by Ron Hutchcraft

The key to environmental comfort at our house is a little dial on the wall in the hall. It's most often visited when someone is cold at our house. They will announce, "I'm cold!" And then they'll head for the thermostat. Of course they turn it up. So, if it's say 65 degrees in the house, maybe they push it up to 70 - what happens? Well, actually nothing for a while. But 45 minutes later, the adjustment starts to take effect, and the temperature starts moving toward 70. Now, you could just get impatient waiting and say, "Hey! I turned it up and nothing's happening."

So, you could push it up to 75, 85, 90 degrees. It won't make it any warmer any sooner.

You just have to set it like you want it and wait patiently.

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Waiting for the Temperature to Change."

Our word for today from the Word of God comes from 2 Timothy chapter 4. Paul is instructing Timothy in how to change the temperature in people's lives; how to warm up people who are cold, how to cool off people who are hot. How to bring people to the spiritual temperature they need to be. There's probably someone in your life right now that maybe you're concerned about in that regard.

Well, listen to what he says… 2 Timothy 4:2 , "Preach the Word. Be prepared in season and out of season, correct, rebuke, and encourage with great patience and careful instruction." Now you notice here that Paul says there are three ways to bring about change in people's lives. Sometimes they need correction - just that gentle bringing back into line when they've stepped off onto a detour. Sometimes it's a rebuke, which is a very, very strong warning. Or it may be an encouragement. Sometimes a person needs to be complimented that they've done something right, even if they've only done one out of ten things right, you complement the one, hoping that the one will become two, and three, and four.

But you notice how you do it? He says, "Do it with great patience." If you're expecting an immediate result, you're gonna be disappointed. You see, you sow truth seed in a person's life, and then you back off and you let it germinate. But we're impatient people; we get no response, so we start to push harder. We push that old thermostat up saying, "Hey! Nothing's happening." You know what we do? We push people away.

Part of the equation for parenting, for discipling, for changing people's minds goes like this. Truth + space = life change. Give them some space. Give them the truth, give them some space, and a life will change. Give them time to choose the Truth themselves. Remember, Truth plus space equals life change.

Here's the other side of the equation. Truth + pressure = life closed. I think it's hardest in parenting. You know you correct, or rebuke, or you encourage your child - nothing happens. They don't seem to be getting it. And out of fear we start to push, and nag, and attack. Like a good farmer, pray for patience and allow the truth seed time to win. It's amazing what a little space can do. Give them the dignity of deciding on their own and you'll find strangely, weeks later; maybe months later, they'll announce a choice that sounds very much like what you said. But you allowed them the dignity of choosing the truth for themselves instead of the indignity of losing to you.

The Bible says, "God is long suffering toward us because He doesn't want us to perish." Are you long suffering? Our mission in people's lives is to sow seed and reap harvests; not to force it to grow. Truth plus space equals life change.

When you speak the truth in love, you're setting the thermostat where it needs to be in someone's life. Now, don't keep turning up the heat. Wait for the temperature to change.